just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
my phone needs a breathalizer
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
what the fuck happened to the tacos
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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