It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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