Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
