dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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