I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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