I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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