i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
