absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
