burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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