I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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