I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
