Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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