Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
