Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
