Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize