she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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