Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
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I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
How naked do you want me to be?
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