just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
