he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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