My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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