No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
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It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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