Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
