We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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