quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
