i don't like sucking hair
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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