Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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