How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize