dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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