Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
