I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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