It's like God shit irony all over that family
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
