bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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