Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
