My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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