I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Swine flu. Run for my life!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just found puke in my bra..
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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