What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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