he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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