Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Terrible idea I love it
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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