dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Still dying that you shit outside
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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