CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
