the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Drake has all the answers
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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