So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
