is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
