my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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