Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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