how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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