Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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