If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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