I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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