can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize