Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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