I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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