What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I have feelings that need drinking.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
