covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
