She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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