you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, I just burned my penis
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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