dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so let's talk penis.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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