TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
