doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
