i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
