we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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