We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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